Saturday, June 21, 2008

Blast from the past (feminist should avoid this one ok?)

I labeled someone the other day (eg i guessed her car) based on her personality, and i was right! (almost down to the year and color) so i found this (and it took me forever)and after a few revisions i am reposting it from, i think its two years old, maybe older. I didn't write the first one, just helped, if you are going to get offended, or complain, just don't. Write a letter to the President instead.
"Granted i'm a little buzzed and i'm pissed off at women in general. Buuuut i truly have been meaning to do this. "Do what Chase?" i've been meaning to give you guys (and women who like girls) a heads up on what kind of girls to be weary of. Its a long list, so i'll break it down to segments. This one

CAR Stereotypes

(remember i live in GA, this may not apply to all areas, and there are, of course, exceptions to every rule)

1. Hot chicks drive CIVICS...i'm serious, i've been around for sometime now and i've noticed girls who drive civics are where its at. 90% of the time a girl with a civic is reliable, caring (when you care about her and treat her with respect) and will give their all to you. The same is true for Accords about 70% of the time. But that other 30% beware, they are usually full of themselves and simultaneously lack self-esteem and "are afraid to be alone."(RUUUN!)Oh and BTW just because they are sweet, or caring doesn't mean they are smart or have common sense.

2. Hot chicks also drive BMW's...but 90% of them are stuck up, and or think they are better than the average Joe. And ALL OF THEM (if they are under 30) are daddies girls, so they are use to having everything handed to them on a silver plater...and that is a tough thing to keep up with, and usually its not even worth it. Typically if they are handed everything on a silver platter, they secretly think they are better then you or lack self worth, or the desire to become anything efficient (less house wives) It takes money to get to these rich spoiled women, and 80% of the 90% ARE NOT WORTH THE STRESS. If anything, keep them around for networking! and for friendship (they are shady as heck but its worth a try)

3. PSYCHO Hot chicks drive JEEPS....Folks i'm serious ok, and when i say psycho i'm not saying they are not worth spending SOME time with, but beware OKAY, Jeep chicks are either A.) Obviously have something "off" about them from the get go (i.e. proceed with caution) or B.) will end up freaking out on you when you least expect it. (BreakDown is 50% of Grands Cherokees, and of 90% Liberties, 80% Wranglers and Larados.

4. FAT CHICKS DRIVE MUSTANGS....or closet (but obvious) lesbians....I know i'm going to step on some toes with this one. I live in GA, i know a lot of women/girls with mustangs. In the south, if a chick...women, drives a mustang it usually means she lacks self-esteem, is overweight OR that she really wants to be a with another women. Don't get me wrong...i know about 2 really really hott awesome straight chicks who drive mustangs....but i know about 98 not hot, not awesome weirdo lesbians chicks that drive mustangs.

5. BEWARE OF CHICKS WITH JETTAs...well 25% of them, and those 25% are FUCKED UP enough for me to warn you about the entire group. But the rest of them, the other 75% are great, almost up there with hondas, my ex-finance drove a Jetta, and i still think she rocks. Buuut big things to look out for: either to emotional there or not all(and i mean they don't give a CRAP about anything but themselves, or get way to attached), and most have NO CLUE...they'll say they have every clue in the book, they'll say they get it, buutt not so much. It think they mature slower then most girls..or just enjoy being clueless. However they are super book smart, fun to be around, if you can keep them as friends, do so. Still my ex-date/fool around buddy also drove a jetta and MY GOODNESS i couldn't wait to get rid of her!( Kindaa creepy how "right" she always was..even though she was obviously wrong) So eh, I'm open to feedback here.

6. Beware of chicks who drive large SUV's...not specific, though i don't believe anyone under 5 foot 6 should drive anything larger than a jeep Cherokees--or that Kia thing..ITS NOT SAFE FOR THE REST OF US!!! Typically this is a sign that their dad KNOWS that they are bad drivers...or that they have over baring( CONTROLLING) parents...if they are grown, it means they know they are bad drivers (so you should try to take the keys as much as possible)

*IF a girl drives a stick shift (not jeep girls!, but the others) she is a cool chick and her desirability and sanity goes up 10 to 30%, depending.


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