Friday, April 3, 2009



I wrote a blog many many moons ago on the Original LaChaBenn Blog entitled Where is the Manuel?
The topic of the blog: Marriage, life and the lack of knowing.
Last week in Chicago Gay bars began banning straight women bachelorette parties. Owners say that gay patrons feel that the women are "flaunting their right to marry" and that "watching them celebrate is such a slap in the face," said owner of Cocktail, Geno Zaharakis a gay club in Chicago.

This week i get a text from one of my chapter exs (a relationships that lasted more than two years) it reads "He ask me to marry him" it doesn't help that i don't have any of my chapter ex's numbers saved in my phone. Nor does it help that i don't know what the answer to the question. When i realized who sent me this text i became short of breath and confused. After all it was april fools day.
So i call and i tried to do what i did when my little sis got married (see Where is the Manuel) but i couldn't because i'm no longer as naive and i'm not made of sugar, i'm made of truth.

I am thankful that i can't get married yet. I feel that i'd been divorced twice by now. I might be (sometimes am) one of those people whom "make that magical connection" in very short amounts of time, completely ignore common sense and rational, and decide to marry. I do not understand the fucking obsession with a piece of paper that says the courts and government acknowledge your love for one another so it must be real!

I mentioned earlier i have four chapter exs, i was engaged to one (and fucked up a lot and i'm still sorry for that), one is already happily married (though she unique and my closest ex and always seem to have your marbles together; i still love her and hers!) one left me after a three year friendship/relationship for a someone she knew for three weeks, and one fled the country EVERY time things got serious. Marriage?
What is the rush, where is the hold up? is there really nothing better to do?
Young people of America it is not necessary to sign your individuality away in the name of love, nor is it necessary to rush something as precious as "eternal love."
Folks if your love is sooo true and Soooo right then why not hold off, and let it marinate, good things always get better with age. (and education and really jobs)
i guess what it boils down to is that when you care about someone, you hate watching them do stupid shit (JR, LAW, AW!) but at the end of the day its up to them.
It just sucks when you can say i told you so....

original post September of 2006*

"Why does life not come with a manual and why do i feel like EVERYONE i know is running around with their head on sideways? We all pretend to know what the truth is, what the best choice are, but we're all just guessing. And NO ONE knows.

I'm guessing, and right now i'm as confused as....the elephant man in space? A dog in a cats body? You feel me. I'm single again, and yea i know that was out of left field, but i really needed it. Any relationship where you are talking about marriage within six months RED FLAG IT. I'm trying to stay away from the one i've been crushing, as too not get sucked in to the rebound effect.....i'm really really bad at that.

and on love, EVERYONE is getting married. Did i miss a memo? Is it really time for us to grow up and do all this shit? And i try to be a supportive a possible. But when most people tell me my thought process runs something like this:

1. thinkin "hmm ok la, smile"---saying--OMG CONGRATS

2. thinkin "DO you know the divorce rate right now?"-saying---did you pick a date?

3. thinking "I'll be out of law school in 4, if you need a divorce lawyer "saying--i'll be out of law school in 4 if you need a divorce lawyer

4. Thinking if you love someone that much, you DON"T need some paper telling you that your love is legit saying---NOTHING

5. Thinking Man, i would be married to Cat right now if we'd stayed together....thank G-d i'm not Doing--holding back from puking

My house in MD got flooded so i Don't know if i can move PLUS offered me a job in Atlanta but yea.....

I'm not suicidal in anyway but man i wish i could get to cloud 10 and float away, land on the south Isle of New Zealand, and wait for her there (in like 50 years)

or i wish life came with a manua

*i was only right about one thing-Im not a lawyer yet but they did get a divorce as sooon as he came back from his military service.

1 comment:

  1. I know it's ironic/hypocritical of me, but even though I'm married I totally agree with you.
    I can only say that G-d (for you, babe) really led me to Scott and put it on our hearts to get married. It felt crazy to us but so right, and we're very happy together. I certainly don't know what the future holds, and I got married a million years earlier than I would have predicted, but I don't regret it and I'll do everything I can to keep it together.
    and thanks for what you said about me, I really appreciate it.


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